For survivors of trauma and victimization, finding their voice and reclaiming their sense of agency can be a transformative part of the healing journey. Assertiveness, the ability to express one’s needs, boundaries, and desires in a clear and respectful manner, plays a crucial role in this process. In this article, we will explore assertive techniques for survivors, drawing insights from scholarly research and incorporating relevant scripture to inspire and empower.
Assertiveness in Biblical Context
In the Bible, we find numerous examples of individuals who demonstrated assertiveness in the face of adversity. Moses, for example, boldly confronted Pharaoh and demanded the release of the Israelites from slavery (Exodus 5:1, 1973-2011, NIV). Esther courageously spoke out against injustice and interceded on behalf of her people, risking her own life in the process (Esther 4:16). Jesus himself modeled assertiveness by speaking truth to power and standing up for the marginalized and oppressed (Matthew 23:1-36).
Scholarly Insights on Assertiveness
Research in the Journal of Health Technology and Assessment (Melton et al., 2020) consisted of authors conducting a comprehensive search of multiple databases, including CENTRAL, EMBASE, MEDLINE, PILOTS, and PsycINFO, to identify relevant studies published up to April 2017. This review identified 33 quantitative studies and 10 qualitative studies that met their inclusion criteria.
The quantitative studies evaluated various interventions, including trauma-focused cognitive behavioral therapy (TF-CBT), eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR), and other psychotherapies.1 The results suggested that TF-CBT and EMDR may be effective in reducing PTSD symptoms, but the evidence was limited by the small number of studies and their methodological limitations.1The qualitative studies explored participants’ experiences with interventions and highlighted the importance of factors such as safety, trust, and a non-judgmental approach in facilitating recovery
Assertive techniques such as “broken record” (repeating a request calmly and firmly), “fogging” (acknowledging criticism without becoming defensive), and “negative inquiry” (asking for clarification when faced with aggression) can empower survivors to assert their needs and protect their boundaries.
Likewise, studies in the Psychology of Violence Journal (Iverson et al., 2013) examined the relationship between exposure to interpersonal violence and psychiatric disorders in a nationally representative sample of adults in the United States. The study used data from the National Comorbidity Survey Replication (NCS-R), a nationally representative household survey conducted between 2001 and 2003.
The sample included 5,692 adults aged 18 years and older. Exposure to interpersonal violence, including physical assault, sexual assault, and stalking, was assessed using structured interviews. Psychiatric disorders, such as mood disorders, anxiety disorders, and substance use disorders, were also evaluated using structured diagnostic interviews.
The study found that women who experienced interpersonal violence had higher odds of developing mood disorders, anxiety disorders, and substance use disorders compared to women without such exposure. Similarly, men who experienced interpersonal violence had higher odds of developing these psychiatric disorders compared to men without such exposure.
Assertive Techniques for Survivors:
1. Use “I” Statements: When expressing your needs or setting boundaries, use “I” statements to assert ownership of your feelings and experiences.
2. Practice Active Listening: Listen actively and attentively to others’ perspectives and opinions, and respond assertively with empathy and respect. Reflect back what you’ve heard to ensure understanding before expressing your own thoughts and feelings.
3. Set Clear Boundaries: Clearly define your boundaries and communicate them assertively to others. Be firm and consistent in enforcing your boundaries, and don’t hesitate to say “no” when necessary to protect your well-being and autonomy.
4. Use Assertive Body Language: Stand tall, make eye contact, and use confident body language (such as open gestures and relaxed posture) to convey assertiveness and self-assurance. Speak clearly and calmly, with a firm but respectful tone of voice.
5. Practice Self-Compassion: Be gentle and compassionate with yourself as you learn to assert yourself and set boundaries. Remember that assertiveness is a skill that takes time and practice to develop, and celebrate your progress along the way.
Assertive techniques empower survivors to find their voice, set boundaries, and reclaim their sense of agency in the aftermath of trauma and victimization. By drawing inspiration from biblical examples of assertiveness and incorporating assertive communication skills into their daily lives, survivors can assert their needs, advocate for themselves, and build healthier relationships. As we journey toward healing and wholeness, may we find strength and courage in embracing our voice and asserting our worth.
Iverson, K. M., McLaughlin, K. A., Gerber, M. R., Dick, A., Smith, B. N., Bell, M. E., Cook, N., & Mitchell, K. S. (2013). Exposure to Interpersonal Violence and Its Associations With Psychiatric Morbidity in a U.S. National Sample: A Gender Comparison. Psychology of violence, 3(3), 273–287. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0030956
Melton, H., Meader, N., Dale, H., Wright, K., Jones-Diette, J., Temple, M., Shah, I., Lovell, K., McMillan, D., Churchill, R., Barbui, C., Gilbody, S., & Coventry, P. (2020). Interventions for adults with a history of complex traumatic events: the INCiTE mixed-methods systematic review. Health technology assessment (Winchester, England), 24(43), 1–312. https://doi.org/10.3310/hta24430
New Living Translation Version Bible. (1973-2011). Biblica, Inc.
